Realizing how much awesomeness you really have.

18 Feb

I woke up this morning and was driving to work in the early morning hours. I just recently fell in love with this Remix Group called RAC. So I’m listening to one of my new song obsessions and it just has that tone of happiness that took me out of my funk and made me realize how great my life really is.

`It’s so easy to say things like:
`I STILL don’t make much money
`I’m almost 30, what have I done to be successful (even though I have created many accomplishments, why do I still ask myself this question?)
`I am still addicted to caffeine, what’s my problem.
`I am broke.

OK, I see what MINE centers around and it’s hard to just take a deep breathe and be happy in that but driving to work, and having that small moment with my new song, it made me feel for a moment how happy I was to listen to that song and how good I really have it. I used to care about so much more and each year I grow a little more into my own, into not caring, and I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH! I love getting a year older every year because I Feel more comfortable in my own skin and I realize each year how far I have come as a progression of person. I do work on it and always have, but every experience, I make as an opportunity to grow and it catches up to you.

I realized also, I’ve battled for a very long time to “JUST BE HAPPY” with my life and with what I have and that that should be enough. But then I’d think or feel something different and it felt so out of my control because I’m “feeling” it and that’s a very different thing to control than a choice….BUT what I realized was that sometimes you can’t force a feeling or a persona, sometimes it just has to come to you one day. Sometimes it just has to catch up to you and what you have gone through. You can’t force things, you can’t force feelings, you can’t force your progression. Everything takes time.

WHAT I’M DOING:
I also thought to tell you to ‘Look for those little moments’ that make a big difference. Those little moments when someone says something really special to you or you hear a new song that makes you feel differently….remember those moments and look to them every day.

WHAT I’M LISTENING TO:
Pheonix-Armistice (RAC Remix) *too hot for this earth-it’s soulfull and deep but in a playful remix way.

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2 Responses to “Realizing how much awesomeness you really have.”

  1. Chrystal February 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm #

    My husband and I had this very conversation yesterday. We’re always looking for more, more, more. Will we ever be happy in the “now” or would that mean we are settling? What are we *supposed* to be doing? Loved this. Very timely for me. Happy weekend.

    • fierceforward February 18, 2012 at 10:24 pm #

      Chrystal, I feel you girl. I think a lot of this wanting more, more more, keeping up with the jone’s, wanting the best, etc,comes from our environment in America. I think other cultures approach their lives differently because that’s what they know. sometimes I wish I grew up somewhere else. it’s so much pressure and stress and you almost mold to it because it’s all around you. here’s to working on being happy with what we have! Ash

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